so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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