All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
