just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize