you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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