he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
