Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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