there was a trapeze. enough said
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
