can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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