just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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