yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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