I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
