apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
