Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
