Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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