exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
