Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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