Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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