I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
