You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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