Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
