you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
