I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
