you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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