Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
