So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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