She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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