if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
