Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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