I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
