Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
