Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need to calm my uterus...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
