We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
