Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
