I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
