I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
