Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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