She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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