We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
