The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
