he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
