It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
