he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
