Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
