We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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