Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
