Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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