It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she looked like the before picture.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
