I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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