if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
