Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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