If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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