Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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