I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
