He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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