why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
