chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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