so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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