its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
