So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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