i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
