Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
