my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
