I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
