We won't sleep together?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
