I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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