Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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