I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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